depress / 3:00 PM

i have not been seeing crying over school work for i always tell myself and the rest of my friends that i would never do that.
but i felt a tear dropped. a tear...

i threw up in the school's toilet cause i am not feeling well mentally. i am suffering from menstruation cramps, mind not at ease & so on.

i am mad at a lot of people, and that include myself. i am mad at me for being stupid, stubborn, slow & way too playful at times.

anyways, to drop those depressing subjects, here's something cool...
FUSE CONCEPT design firm called me for my attachment. yeh as in "THEY" called me for a job! the lady boss was busy so she told me she would call again later on. i don't even know my own hp number that i told Miss Tim: "hey i have to call you back in 5mins cause i can't even remember my own number." - bad first impression. shows that my memory is no good. heh... ;/

***

Okie back to the depressing subject (typical fickle me)...
i slept at 5am & ended up being late for class. i forgot my portfolio, so i had to rush back home to get it. then at the state of looking so-tak-glamour with too little make-up which did not cover my eye bags & flaws, i bumped into Shira in the train.

it was a funny moment. she was far away from me. i saw her & smiled. she smiled & looked away. i was thinking..."tak kenal aku ke budak ni?!" then i smiled again...
from a distance away, she said out loudly...

Shira: Kau saper?!
Me: Kau sini ah ah kalau nak bual.
(so she came to my seat)
Shira: Kau saper seh?
Me: Rabak ah kau! Kau Shira kan?
Shira: ah ah. Aku tak kenal kau siol.
Me: Diyana lah. Sotong sak kau!
Shira: Diyana?! Eh sial ah! Lain sak kau skarang! aku dari jauh aku fikir minah maner sak senyum2 kat aku. siak ah...serious kau lain.

*cheyyyy...shira in Bishan ITE uniform seh! feewweett...*

so we chatted lah. maklum dah nak dekat 3 tahun tak jumpa!! shira was one of the fun peeps i had during my working days. then we talked lah bout raihan, dila & fiza...

***

so back to why i slept late last night...
i was so fucked up with my work. i gave up, went to watch Final Destinatio (movie dah basi) with my brother while i cuddle on the floor with the phone on mah hand, while accompanying ayang who could't sleep (entah kenapa). the show was nice! but the blood were not a great sight. i hate blood & i am afraid of blood.

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

depress / 3:00 PM

i have not been seeing crying over school work for i always tell myself and the rest of my friends that i would never do that.
but i felt a tear dropped. a tear...

i threw up in the school's toilet cause i am not feeling well mentally. i am suffering from menstruation cramps, mind not at ease & so on.

i am mad at a lot of people, and that include myself. i am mad at me for being stupid, stubborn, slow & way too playful at times.

anyways, to drop those depressing subjects, here's something cool...
FUSE CONCEPT design firm called me for my attachment. yeh as in "THEY" called me for a job! the lady boss was busy so she told me she would call again later on. i don't even know my own hp number that i told Miss Tim: "hey i have to call you back in 5mins cause i can't even remember my own number." - bad first impression. shows that my memory is no good. heh... ;/

***

Okie back to the depressing subject (typical fickle me)...
i slept at 5am & ended up being late for class. i forgot my portfolio, so i had to rush back home to get it. then at the state of looking so-tak-glamour with too little make-up which did not cover my eye bags & flaws, i bumped into Shira in the train.

it was a funny moment. she was far away from me. i saw her & smiled. she smiled & looked away. i was thinking..."tak kenal aku ke budak ni?!" then i smiled again...
from a distance away, she said out loudly...

Shira: Kau saper?!
Me: Kau sini ah ah kalau nak bual.
(so she came to my seat)
Shira: Kau saper seh?
Me: Rabak ah kau! Kau Shira kan?
Shira: ah ah. Aku tak kenal kau siol.
Me: Diyana lah. Sotong sak kau!
Shira: Diyana?! Eh sial ah! Lain sak kau skarang! aku dari jauh aku fikir minah maner sak senyum2 kat aku. siak ah...serious kau lain.

*cheyyyy...shira in Bishan ITE uniform seh! feewweett...*

so we chatted lah. maklum dah nak dekat 3 tahun tak jumpa!! shira was one of the fun peeps i had during my working days. then we talked lah bout raihan, dila & fiza...

***

so back to why i slept late last night...
i was so fucked up with my work. i gave up, went to watch Final Destinatio (movie dah basi) with my brother while i cuddle on the floor with the phone on mah hand, while accompanying ayang who could't sleep (entah kenapa). the show was nice! but the blood were not a great sight. i hate blood & i am afraid of blood.