me being me again.. / 11:40 AM

what a start of the day! i was late for work. very late! like mins late! all becos i hadto alight at khatib when i was on my way to work, because i was so sick. i needed to sit down. there were no seats available for me in the train. u know lah the feeling you get when ur about to faint right? the huge pain inone part of ur body, the sweat, the heat that takes over your whole body, and your vison changes. all you see are smudges of a white canvas. and so after a few mins res, i took the train again. and again, the whole cycle occured once more. i wish that particular someone wouldbe there, or at least hear me in pain. but i know things are not the same as before. night after night, i get nightmares about us. it happened again last night.

even after having 2 cups of milo, im still suffering this pain in my tummy. i don't know wat's wrong. imvery sleepy and tiredeven though i went to bed at 10pm and woke up very late for work-7.30am. i need the day of. seriously! i need time to mend my life. i really do. yesterday, after watching the big unknown 2, all i wanted to do was to tell my dad that i change my mind again. i swear to god that i need to be in a foreign land to mend my entire life. forget about being homesick cause that's the least i could think of. i need to be away from some people here. that's the only way i can move on and start afresh. i haven't been crying this much. if i could turn back time,i would turnit back to when i still have myparents's trust. cause one small trigger of me wanting to be like the minahson the street changed my entire life.

anyways, hapi 1st birthday to my dearest sister ameerah! love u sweetheart!!!

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

me being me again.. / 11:40 AM

what a start of the day! i was late for work. very late! like mins late! all becos i hadto alight at khatib when i was on my way to work, because i was so sick. i needed to sit down. there were no seats available for me in the train. u know lah the feeling you get when ur about to faint right? the huge pain inone part of ur body, the sweat, the heat that takes over your whole body, and your vison changes. all you see are smudges of a white canvas. and so after a few mins res, i took the train again. and again, the whole cycle occured once more. i wish that particular someone wouldbe there, or at least hear me in pain. but i know things are not the same as before. night after night, i get nightmares about us. it happened again last night.

even after having 2 cups of milo, im still suffering this pain in my tummy. i don't know wat's wrong. imvery sleepy and tiredeven though i went to bed at 10pm and woke up very late for work-7.30am. i need the day of. seriously! i need time to mend my life. i really do. yesterday, after watching the big unknown 2, all i wanted to do was to tell my dad that i change my mind again. i swear to god that i need to be in a foreign land to mend my entire life. forget about being homesick cause that's the least i could think of. i need to be away from some people here. that's the only way i can move on and start afresh. i haven't been crying this much. if i could turn back time,i would turnit back to when i still have myparents's trust. cause one small trigger of me wanting to be like the minahson the street changed my entire life.

anyways, hapi 1st birthday to my dearest sister ameerah! love u sweetheart!!!